Finding out your significant other is secretly significantly occupied with his new significant other is not a good day. If this has happened to you, causing a need for a little levity from someone else who understands, you need to read Mennonite in a Little Black Dress by Rhoda Janzen. Rhoda is definitely of the sisterhood. Let's begin with her entry into the land of the philanderer-ed. One night Rhoda was laying asleep next to her husband of fifteen years. The phone rang at midnight:
The phone was on my side, and I sleepily picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Uh, can I talk to Nick?"
"This is Bob?"
"Yeah."
There it was: confirmation from the man of the hour. The man from Gay.com. In the flesh, ready to whack off, requesting the assistance of my husband. I handed the phone silently to Nick, who had tensed beside me. I rose, collected my tractable cat from the foot of the bed, grabbed my robe, and went downstairs to sob in the guest room. That was the last time we ever retired together to the same bed."
Sorry to say, I do have a story to rival that one, although having read the book I'm not sure I can tell it as well as Rhoda. I definitely recommend that you pick up a copy of the book, and enjoy with a grand smile. Get a preview by hitting the link above and see Rhoda telling how she went home to recover he aplomb.
Hi, Everyone! Sorry to have flown the coop, but it's been a bad week. Not makin' excuses, just sayin'. But the Oscars were on last night, and that always perks everyone up!
Doesn't Sandra Bullock look drop dead gorgeous in her red dress? Really if we didn't love her so much, we'd have to be jealous of her!
She looks especially beautiful because she's not wearing a certain accessory from last year ..... her stinkin', two-timin' scumbucket of a dirtbag EX-husband, Jesse James. Skunk is really just not a bad enough word for him.
He's a liar, a cheat, a user, a manipulator. Does he have any good qualities, I wonder? It's hard to imagine, when he could do what he did to someone as beautiful and kind and talented as our Sandy.
And do we all remember WHAT he did to our girl????? Yup - he philandered. He had the girl of anyone's dreams, and instead he chose this:
I'm thinkin' of a whole lotta words for this one, and "skank" is about the kindest one!
So what hope do the rest of us have, if even someone as amazing as Sandy finds herself in our not so exclusive club?????
The lesson here is the one that sounds so trite when they say it: IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME. That's right, Jesse, Charlie, and all the others - it's about YOU and your lack of morals and decency.
WE are still fabulous, absolutely fabulous! And we should never never never forget it!
Which one of those girls looks better in her red dress????? Just sayin'!
'Till next time, 'cause sadly there's always another one ........ Taffy
Ah, Carrie -- Have you been where we've been? Did some two-timin' gigolo break your heart, too? 'Cause you sing this with such passion, like you KNOW how it feels ......
And when Carrie says "You'd better run for your life" you'd better know she means it! Casanovas will steal your heart, and take everything else you value in yourself and your life if you let them.
This got me to thinking about the real life Casanova, the famous womanizer. In his own autobiography, written in the 1790s, he wrote: “Cultivating whatever gave pleasure to my senses was always the chief business of my life; I never found any occupation more important. Feeling that I was born for the sex opposite of mine, I have always loved it and done all that I could to make myself loved by it.”
Boy, ain't THAT the truth with these guys! Thinking with the wrong head, 'cause the one they should be using is oxygen-deprived from blood loss, their only purpose in life is to treat women like pawns in a seductive little game they play.
Why do we romanticize a sleaze like Casanova? According to Wikipedia "He strove to be the ideal escort in the first act—witty, charming, confidential, helpful—before moving into the bedroom in the third act."
Nowadays we call it the "3rd date."
Well, who doesn't want the escape? Who doesn't want to be flirted with, pursued, wanted, seduced? Of course we fall for them! "He's like a drug, you get addicted to his love."
But we should know better.
The fix from their drug wears off. We feel humiliation, rage, disgust, a whole mix of emotions. But they don't consider the consequences of their actions, only going after the next conquest.
So don't take that cool drink of water - splash yourself back to reality instead! "Don't let him mess with your mind ...... he'll break your heart, it's just a matter of time."
'Till next time, 'cause sadly there's always another one ........ Taffy
Oh, just lk at his eyes! Now there's a real man. Can you tell what he's thinking? Better yet, would you elect this man to be your president?? Thanks to Lisa Jo Druck, you don't have to make that choice. She met the raised-brow dude in a bar, where she pitched making a campaign film to help him garner a Pennsylvania Avenue address in 2008. Hmmm. Must have been quite a pitch! She REceived a job offer, and CONceived Mr. Brow's daughter. Oh, and ya, somewhere between her birth and her daughter's conception, she changed her name to Rielle. That's Rielle Hunter. I wonder what she was hunting? Presidential candidates? It's hard to have even the slightest sympathy for this Dear John. Edwards had a lovely wife, Elizabeth, attorney, health-care activist, best selling author, chief policy advisor, and mother of his four (legitimate) children. Diagnosed with breast cancer on the day John Kerry and her husband conceded defeat in the 2004 presidential election, Elizabeth went on to fight her disease and the ignominy of her husband's disgrace with panache, until her death in 2010. Dear John, lower your brow, and GO AWAY!
When we think of the philanderers we know, usually questions come to mind along the lines of, "*WHAT* was he thinking?" or "*WHY* did he do that?" I know, because I recently had the opportunity to, yet again, experience the wonder of being philandered. (Too recently, but more about that later.) This fresh experience left me grasping for ways to describe that so-called man's true character, and coming short of words. Good news: A quick check of thesaurus.com provides plenty of words to refer to the men who caused the query other than the most common epithets, a$$h%%% or ba$t**d.
Have you ever experienced this post-philandered inability to fully express yourself? Are you in need of some better invectives for use when you're in polite company? Try some of the below:
Italy has delectable food, inspirational artwork, a romantic language ... and a prime minister who is embarrassing a country which should have oodles of national pride.
Silvio Berlusconi has been in some trouble before, but he's really outdone himself this time! He's not just a womanizer, that's for amateurs. Nope, he's now going to trial in the spring, accused of paying nightclub dancer Karima el-Mahroug, who was under the age of 18 at the time, for sex.
In case you're wondering, he's almost 75.
Her stage name? Ruby Heart-Stealer. Yah, she stole Silvio's heart AND his mind, and turned them into spaghetti! What, if anything, was he thinking!? Oh, and she doesn't just steal hearts and minds of addled old perverted men ... Berlusconi is also accused of using his political power to help free her when she'd been charged with real theft.
Now, ol' Silvio has spent a fair share of his life in courtrooms, but never for anything quite this sordid. Tax evasion and bribing judges kind of pales by comparison to the sleaze factor going on now!
So how DO you say "pig" in Italian? Il maiale. Funny how closely that phrase resembles "ill male," huh??? ;)
'Till next time, 'cause sadly there's always another one ........ Taffy
